Thursday, January 31, 2013

The "Gunbrella"

Hi there! How's it going, eh? Got a gunbrella yet? It seems to be all the rage. Pour yourself a mug of coffee and accompany it with a virtual treat of your choice while I tell you all about the latest 'cool' idem on Toronto streets (not to mention many other cities). 

Just before our departure this week, I saw a TV clip on the gunbrella. It is an umbrella that has a wooden rifle stock complete with trigger and a realistic muzzle with gun sight. Seen from a distance, it looks like the real thing - and Metro Toronto Police don't have anything good to say about it, let me tell you. 

I year ago there was a four-hour university lockdown in the Eastern US after someone saw a guy with a gun walking around the campus. It turned out to be a guy with a... you guessed it...gunbrella. There are variations - one with a flintlock pistol stock and another with a Samuri Sword stock. 

Imagine carrying your gunbrella around and walking into a bank. Alarm bells would start working faster than 30-second Exlax! I can see less than highly intelligent criminally-inclined types using them to actually try a bank robbery, can't you? Wouldn't put it past them!


In Thailand, I once took a cigarette lighter shaped like a little pistol away from a student. I told him that if Thai Police saw him with it, they would assume it was real - shoot first and ask questions later!

Where do they get these crazy ideas, eh? Someone comes up with them without thinking much about the downside. What's your take on this?

See ya, eh!

Bob

Physicists Create a Way to Hide in Time

Hi there! Thanks for popping through cyberspace - that great unseen reality out there. Pour some Arabica juice into that mug you're holding and apply a couple digits to one of those virtual doughnuts, why don't'cha? Hey, listen to this...

Recently physicists have created prototype invisibility cloaks that conceal objects from light, sound, and water. Last January, Cornell physicist Alexander Gaeta one-upped them all by building a cloak that hides entire events.

Gaeta exploited the fact that we perceive objects only because they scatter light. He started by splitting a light beam as it passed through a 400-foot-long glass fiber, which created a 40-picosecond gap of darkness as one part of the beam lagged behind the other.

During that brief time, he shot a laser through the unlit gap. Finally Gaeta rejoined the light fragments to preserve the original beam.

An observer at the end of the fiber would never know the laser had been fired, because it never interacted with the light beam. Gaeta suggests this approach may have applications in data transmission. Alas, sneaking out of work undetected is well beyond current technology.

Every army in the world wants some of those invisible cloaks, don't'cha know, and who can blame them. Though, as the British might be heard to say, "It's not very sporting, now is it, old chap?"

See ya, eh!

Bob

Monday, January 28, 2013

Room to Swing a Cat

Hi ya! Great to see you today! Wassup? Can't beat your timing, I must say. Coffee's just finished perking and the treats are warm and inviting so pick your choose, eh! Say... we use idioms and expressions every day when talking. There are thousands of them. One that I had often used but never thought much about was "
Room to swing a cat". I can see a mental image forming...

Definition: A sufficient amount of space.

Example: "This apartment is so tiny, there isn't enough room to swing a cat in here."


But, truth be known, the "cat" in the original phrase refers to a cat-o-nine-tails, which is a particularly nasty type of whip that has nine strips of leather, each about three feet long. A lashing by a cat-o-nine-tails (sometimes referred to, rather perversely, as a "captain's daughter") would be extremely painful and leave the victim with large welts on his posterior.

It was primarily used as a method of punishment aboard naval vessels. Because of the cramped conditions below deck, these punishments were delivered out in the open, because above deck there was enough room to swing a cat, and because public floggings were thought to be an effective method of discouraging misbehavior among the crew.

Avast, me 'ardies. Belay the flogging till we've got our coffee and good seats!

See ya, eh!

Bob 

How to Live to 100 +

Well there you are. Glad you could make it, y'know. When I called my mum this morning, she said that two of the residents in the home she is in passed away the night before last. Mum's 92. I don't know how old the two were but they were up there for sure. Anyway, fill your mug, grab a low-fat virtual muffin and let's chat about living longer.

Living to 100 is not rare anymore. In fact, a local billboard forecasts, “The first person to live to 150 has already been born.”

I don’t know if or when people will live to be 150, but I do know that living to be 100 is something that we can strive for. In fact, the number of 100 year olds in the United States has roughly doubled in the past 20 years to around 72,000 and is projected to at least double again by 2020, making it the fastest growing demographic in America. According to the 2010 census data, about 1 in 4,400 Americans lives to age 100. I expect demographics in other countries will be similar.

Since we all get older every year, it raises an important question, “What should I be doing if I want to continue my annual renewal and stay healthy so I can continue to enjoy the journey.”

In general, your genes will neither kill you nor save you.  Our genes dictate only about 10% of how long we live. People with “terrible” genes can make lifestyle changes and improve their odds significantly, and people with “designer” genes can run them in into the ground. So a lot of it has to do with what you do with what you have.

So how do we protect the 35 trillion cells that we call our body to make them last for a century?

Start planning for longevity today. If you wanted to have an adequate retirement savings account, you probably would start saving early. The same is true with your health.Here are 15 tips for living longer from Care2.com.

Eat healthy. This is very confusing today because it seems what is healthy keeps changing. But the basics are pretty consistent: avoid junk food; limit prepared foods (restaurant and take out), sugary drinks and sodas; eat lots of fruits and vegetables. If possible, eat organically grown fruits and vegetables to minimize exposure to pesticide. If you haven’t heart about the clean 15 and dirty dozen (12 highest pesticide laden fruits and vegetables), click here.

Control your weight. It’s really simple; the fatter your body, the harder your heart has to work to supply it with blood and the harder your knees have to work to keep it moving. Some simple tips include don’t go back for seconds (keep the food off the table and on a serving counter so people have to physically get up to grab another spoonful), keep only healthy snacks in the house or with you at work, chew your food at least 30 times per bite and put your fork or sandwich down between bites so your meal will take longer and your stomach will have time to tell your brain you are getting full. This will allow you to stop eating before you overeat.

Don’t add salt to your food. Salt is a growing health problem in the United States and is contributing to high blood pressure and heart disease. There is so much salt already in the food we eat that adding extra salt is unhealthy.

Take a multivitamin and fish oil daily.

Maintain Family Units. In today’s fractured world, many families live far away from each other. Yet in places such as Sardinia, Italy where there are ten times the centenarians as in the United States, families typically live together in units that include the grandparents. They call it the grandmother affect. Interestingly, in a recent study of killer whales reported in Science, in which the grandmother whale survived and continued to live with the pod, the effect on her adult male offspring was a 14 times greater likelihood of his survival one year beyond the loss of his mother.

Eat on A Smaller Plate. People in Okinawa, Japan use plates about the size of a salad plate.  They live seven good years longer than the average American and have 1/5 the rate of breast and colon cancer and 1/6 the rate of heart disease. Centenarians stop eating with they are 80% full.

Meditate Daily. According to Herbert Benson, people who meditate at least 10 minutes daily to illicit the relaxation response (opposite of fight or flight) have lower risk of high blood pressure, heart disease, diabetes and more.  Click Here for my Free Stress Busters eBook.

Remain Active. It’s not about running in the Boston Marathon. It’s about staying active and moving. Hardwire some type of physical activity into every week of your life. Walk in nature, take the stairs, do yoga or tai chi, garden. Do this at least two to three times per week. I do resistance training with a personal trainer twice a week and walk almost every other day.

Stay Connected.
People live longer who have ongoing social interactions, who are able to share their happiness and sorrow and who have companionship. This does not mean chat rooms and Facebook. It means sitting in the room with real people. Volunteering, participating and sharing are life extenders.


Have a purpose. People who have a reason to wake up in the morning live longer, healthier, happier lives. What’s yours? If an answer doesn’t pop into your head, search for one. It could be playing with your grandchildren, gardening, adult education, volunteering at your favorite charity or school, or any of a thousand other reasons. Find yours. According to Dan Buettner it’s worth about 7 years of life expectancy.

Have a day of rest. Having one day a week where all you do is relax, abstain from work and any stress related activity, and/or pray has been shown to increase longevity. Even God rested on the seventh day. There is a reason that is part of every major religion. Enjoy this Free relaxing instrumental music while you rest and relax.

Remain Spiritual: People who are part of a faith based community who pray at least 4 times per month live between 4 and 14 extra years.

Choose friends wisely. People tend to become who they hang out with. The Framingham Study showed that if your 3 best friends are obese, you are 50% more likely to become obese. Friends with healthy habits increase your chance of remaining healthy.

Smile More:
People who are happier and have a more positive attitude live longer. Happiness lowers stress, strengths your immune system and keep the tips of your chromosomes, called telomeres, longer, preventing cancer and disease.


Oh yea and...don't walk in front of any buses!

See ya, eh!

Bob

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Stunning Space!

Well...a splendid and goodly day to you! I am always thrilled to hear your click and, through the nebula of webclouds, catch your visage as you hunch over your monitor. Eh? You talking to me? Of course I am so pull up a chair and Madge will bring over a mug of coffee and a virtual treat for you. After all, it is Sunday.  Speaking of nebulae, I don't know about you but I find photos of space fascinating, majestic and awe-inspiring. You may have noticed that a lot of my digital art has a space-like quality to it and in both cases, possibilities are endless. Here are two amazing images upon which to cast your gaze today...

The first one is centred on the star HD 87643. It beautifully shows the extended nebula of gas and dust that reflects the light from the star. The central star's wind appears to have shaped the nebula, leaving bright, ragged tendrils of gas and dust. A careful investigation of these features seems to indicate that there are regular ejections of matter from the star every 15 to 50 years. The image, taken with the Wide Field Imager on the MPG/ESO 2.2-metre telescope at La Silla, is based on data obtained through different filters: B, V and R.


The second image shows colourful gases and brilliant stars captured amid the beauty of space in this Hubble image of the Large Magellanic Cloud, a satellite galaxy of the Milky Way. The star-forming region visible here is called LHA 120-N 11. To me it kind of looks like a dragon chasing it's prey across a sky of violet gas. Better lay off those funny mushrooms, eh!It's no wonder that people have looked up at the stars since there first were people to look up.   See ya, eh!  Bob

Saturday, January 26, 2013

A Catfish Amongst the Pigeons

G'day! How's tricks? Pour yourself a robust mug of coffee and latch onto one or more virtual treats before you swim over here to the table. Say, if people go fishing to catch fish are fishermen, what would you call fish that go pigeon-hunting? Would they go pigeoning and be called pigeonerfish? Makes you wonder, doesn't it? Well listen to this...
 
In Southwestern France, a group of fish have learned how to kill birds. As the River Tarn winds through the city of Albi, it contains a small gravel island where pigeons gather to clean and bathe. And patrolling the island are European catfish—1 to 1.5 metres long, and the largest freshwater fish on the continent. These particular catfish have taken to lunging out of the water, grabbing a pigeon, and then wriggling back into the water to swallow their prey. In the process, they temporarily strand themselves on land for a few seconds.

Other aquatic hunters strand themselves in a similar way, including bottlenose dolphins from South Carolina, which drive small fish onto beaches, and Argentinian killer whales, which swim onto beaches to snag resting sealions. The behaviour of the Tarn catfishes is so similar that Julien Cucherousset from Paul Sabatier University in Toulouse describes them as “freshwater killer whales”. 


This was featured in DiscoverMagazine.com, 12-5-2012] 

Sounds like a good name for a story, wouldn't you say? "A Catfish Amongst the Pigeons".

See ya, eh!

Bob 

Friday, January 25, 2013

Get the Latest Dirt Right Here!



Hey there! How're you doing, eh? Holding your own! Thought I told you not to do that...at least in public? Fill your mug with some delightfully refreshing Arabica and snag one of those virtual pastries on the tray next to the coffeepot. Here's the latest dirt...

While most chefs work hard to make sure no dirt winds up in their food, at French restaurant Ne Quittez Pas, in Tokyo, Japan, dirt is actually used as a key ingredient.

Mind you, this isn’t just any kind of dirt. It’s a special black soil from Kanuma, Tochigi Prefecture, that’s actually been tested for safety, but it’s still the thing most people use to grow plants in. So how did dirt wind up on the menu of this respectable venue? Apparently, Chef Toshio Tanabe once won a cooking competition with his signature dirt sauce, and from that point on he put together an entire menu based on the unusual ingredient. Now the restaurant is offering dishes priced as high as $110 with Kanuma dirt in them.

Actually, quite a few people eat dirt (intentionally, I mean) along with worms, bugs and just about anything else you can imagine. The Japanese have always been kind of quirky when it comes to food (I should behave because I'm flying through Tokyo next week) so this new restaurant doesn't come as any surprise. All I will say though is that the prices are far from being...wait for it...dirt cheap! (Sorry...couldn't resist!)

See ya, eh!

Bob

Thursday, January 24, 2013

300-Million-Year-Old Wheel Tooth Found In Russian Coal

Hi ya! Thanks for clicking by today. How's it going? Ready for a mug of Arabica and a virtual muffin? Of course you are! I guarantee you won't break a tooth on the muffin. Say...do you believe in UFOs? Well listen to this...

The Earth was so young 300 million years ago that, according to scientists,  the first land animals had yet to evolve into dinosaurs.

If that's the case, how do you explain the discovery in Russia of a gear shift -- a common machine part -- embedded into a hunk of 300-million-year-old coal. Has this artifact been correctly identified? And if so, who could have made this thing? And for what purpose?

According to Komsomolskaya Pravda, a resident of Vladivostok -- near the borders of China and North Korea -- named Dmitry, recently noticed something odd about a hunk of coal he had obtained to heat his home during the winter.

A metallic-looking rail or rod was pressed into the coal, prompting Dmitry to contact biologist Valery Brier, in the seaside Primorye region.

Initial examination of the strange object led researchers to assert it looked "very much like a toothed metal rail, created artificially. It was like parts that are often used in microscopes or other various technical and electronic devices," wrote Komsomolskaya Pravda.

The piece of coal in question originated from the Chernogorodskiy mines of the Khakasis region. The Voice of Russia, an international Russian broadcasting service, reported that since the coal deposits in this region of the country can be dated to 300 million years ago, experts are suggesting that the odd piece of metal found in the coal must be that old as well.

The Voice of Russia also said, "When geologists broke the piece of coal in which the metal object was pressed into and spot-treated it with special chemical agents, it turned out the the metal detail was unusually light and soft. ... [It] was found to be composed of 98 percent aluminum and 2 percent magnesium," which led to the implication that the metallic object was created artificially.

The other important property of the object that intrigued the researchers was "its distinctive shape, which was reminiscent of a modern wheel tooth," according to The Voice of Russia. "It is hard to imagine that an object could take the regular shape of a wheel tooth with six identical 'teeth' naturally."

But who created this seemingly metallic piece 300 million years ago, presumably when there were no humans walking the Earth? Even Komsomolskaya Pravda implied that this piece of metal has an alien origin.

One scientist, geologist Sharon Hill, who goes by the name "idoubtit," says this entire story is "laughable." Writing in Doubtful News.com, Hill insists "there are so many red flags, you should discard it entirely."

Among the red flags Hill wonders about are, "Why is it not published in a journal? We have to accept the man's word for it, where he found it and how he discovered it? Why speculate on the alien origin of aluminum?"

Hill adds that "It's not part of a gear. It's a natural crystal formation I'd say. ... But as following the typical template for these stories, the extreme speculative and dramatic interpretation is hyped over any consideration of an actual explanation. That's sad because it could be cool."

Well, there you go. There are always nay-sayers out there, aren't there? The photos sure looks like a machined metal tooth to me. Brian, in Pattaya, give me an engineer's take on this, would you?

Is it evidence of an ancient visit from aliens, or somehow a time warp, or...send me your thoughts???

See ya, eh!

Bob

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Vernon Spicer’s Incredible Pasta Paintings

Hey! Hey! Great to see you today. What're you up to, eh? Help yourself to a huge mug of coffee and a virtual treat, why don't'cha?

Yesterday, I showed you some of my latest digital art. Well, here's a fellow in the US of A who doesn't use his computer to create art. He uses pasta. Self-taught artist Vernon Spicer, from Alabama, uses pasta like spaghetti, macaroni, lasagna and noodles to create his detailed paintings.

I’ve seen some pretty unusual materials used in paintings, but pasta is definitely a first for me. 71-year-old Vernon Spicer, a Vietnam veteran and pastor at a church in Selma, Alabama, got the idea of using the brittle material from a dream he had one night. It woke me up one night,” he told the Montgomery Advertiser. “In it, I could see something that had a three-dimensional design, one that involved me using sticks to create.”

Instead telling him to get over it, wife Audrey encouraged him to pursue the vision and suggested he replace the sticks with uncooked spaghetti. That’s how Vernon’s career as an amateur pasta artist began. Now, six years later, Spicer can create some pretty amazing works of art.

Side benefit? If people don't like his art, he can eat it! Of course, if he's using cooked pasta, it could get mouldy and it's likely fastened to the canvas with something...perhaps crazy glue so that may not be a good idea - although a good, garlicky tomato sauce can mask pretty well anything, right?

See ya, eh!

Bob

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

My Computerized Paintbrush and I

Hey there! How're you doing? Hope all's well. A good start is when you wake up in the morning ready to face another day, right? Here in Whitby this morning, it's -13.2 C but feels like -25C with the wind chill and just to add a little excitement on the roads, there're snow flurries on the way. Bundle up are the words of the day here. 

Good time to stay inside with a mug of coffee and a virtual treat, eh!

Yesterday in the before sunrise hours, I managed to get some digital art done. Take a look!

Got a ton of other projects on the go as always but every once in a while, the urge strikes me to get creative and digital art is how I scratch that itch, so to speak. I feature the works of other artists so why not show some of my own works, eh? I'm still working slowly on updating my website www.bobsartstudio.net


If you click over there you'll see that I still have a lot of links to update. Takes a while!

See ya, eh!


Bob




Monday, January 21, 2013

Ever seen an Elf Cat?

Hi Ya! How's it going? Ready for some coffee, virtual treat? I thought you might be. You've come to the right place. Have you see The Hobbit yet? Nah, me neither. With the return of the Hobbit, Elf cats seem to be making a well-timed debut. 

What the heck are Elf cats? These truly elfish-looking felines are a cross between a Sphynx and an American Curl. Their ears curl back like the American Curl and they are hairless, like the Sphynx. Some think they look like Yoda, others are reminded of the cave-bound creature in the Hobbit. I think they look like Dobbie, the House Elf in Harry Potter.

Whatever these little furless critters remind you of, be prepared to pay big bucks if you want one. They are extremely rare and start at $2,000 a kitten. As a new breed, there are only about 100 of them in the entire world, so even with your checkbook open, the waiting list may require patience and persistence.


At first glance, they look a little odd...being hairless and all. If you have allergies to cat fur, hey... problem solved for a mere $2,000. Feed the kitty!

See ya, eh!

Bob



Sunday, January 20, 2013

Performing fleas

Hi there! Wonderful to see you. Thanks for clicking by today. Coffee's fresh and the treats are as delightful as always so dig in, eh! When it comes to providing the best virtual treats, there's 'no fleas on us!'. Did I say fleas? Listen to this...

Artist Maria Fernanda Cardoso, already known for her "circus" of performing fleas at Australia's Sydney Festival 10 years ago, has since become a legitimate academic expert on the sex organs of fleas and other insects. 

Maria Fernanda Cardoso is a widely known Columbian artist. She debuted the Museum of Copulatory Organs last year near Sydney, teaching visitors such esoterica as: In many insect species, females are promiscuous; snails are hermaphrodites in which one shoots sperm "darts" that form rigid chastity-belt-like blockages on his mate; and a male flea copulates for eight hours straight (but only mates three times in his life). [Sydney Morning Herald, 4-21-2012] 

Bloody Hell...eight hours straight? That'd have to put a strain on the old flea willy, wouldn't it? No wonder it only 'performs' three times in its lifespan. Has to take it's toll, eh! Needs a long period of recovery time, I suspect.

See ya, eh!

Bob  

Saturday, January 19, 2013

A Shocking Way to Wake Up!

Aha! As usual, your timing is impeccable. Why, just this very moment, a new tray of scrumptili...icious virtual treats appeared out of my virtual oven. Help yourself and pour a mug of coffee while you're about it, eh! Say...do you ever have trouble getting out of bed in the morning? Well here's a new invention for you...

Tired of waking up very late and missing his university lectures, Indian student Sankalp Sinha decided to do something about his problem – he invented a special alarm clock that “rewards” the owner with an electric shock if he tries to press the snooze button.

19-year-old Sankalp Sinha came up with the idea for his shocking alarm clock a couple of years ago, when he was having trouble getting up in the morning to attend university classes. He had developed a habit of hitting the snooze button and going back to sleep, so he started thinking about a solution that would force him out of bed.

A student of automobile engineering at Sharda University in Uttar Pradesh, India, Sinha came up with an idea for an alarm clock that administers a small electric shock via the very popular snooze button. “The shock it administers is harmless but is enough to energize you”, the young inventor says, adding that users will be able to adjust how strong the electric shock they get is.

He added that the power of his Good Morning Sing N Shock clock will be a fraction of the 50,000 volts delivered by the standard Taser gun. Pretty weak, but you want the thing to wake you up, not put you to sleep, right?

Good idea? Maybe for some people. Another idea is to turn up the volume and put the alarm clock on the other side of the room instead of beside your bed, eh.

And while the old brain is churning, why not wire the clock to your electric blanket? A bit too much? Yeah...perhaps, although a couple of the teachers I had in my crew in Thailand could have used it!

See ya, eh!

Bob

Friday, January 18, 2013

Major Step Toward an Alzheimer's Vaccine

Hi ya! Glad you remembered your way here today and just in time for a mug of coffee and a virtual treat. If you forget your way sometime n the far distant future, well... well actually, you may not have to worry. Listen to this...

A team of researchers from Université Laval, CHU de Québec, and pharmaceutical firm GlaxoSmithKline (GSK) has discovered a way to stimulate the brain's natural defense mechanisms in people with Alzheimer's disease. This major breakthrough opens the door to the development of a treatment for Alzheimer's disease and a vaccine to prevent the illness.

One of the main characteristics of Alzheimer's disease is the production in the brain of a toxic molecule known as amyloid beta. Microglial cells, the nervous system's defenders, are unable to eliminate this substance, which forms deposits called senile plaques.

The team led by Dr. Serge Rivest, professor at Université Laval's Faculty of Medicine and researcher at the CHU de Québec research center, identified a molecule that stimulates the activity of the brain's immune cells. The molecule, known as MPL (monophosphoryl lipid A), has been used extensively as a vaccine adjuvant by GSK for many years, and its safety is well established.

In mice with Alzheimer's symptoms, weekly injections of MPL over a twelve-week period eliminated up to 80% of senile plaques. In addition, tests measuring the mice's ability to learn new tasks showed significant improvement in cognitive function over the same period.

The researchers see two potential uses for MPL. It could be administered by intramuscular injection to people with Alzheimer's disease to slow the progression of the illness. It could also be incorporated into a vaccine designed to stimulate the production of antibodies against amyloid beta. "The vaccine could be given to people who already have the disease to stimulate their natural immunity," said Serge Rivest. "It could also be administered as a preventive measure to people with risk factors for Alzheimer's disease."

"When our team started working on Alzheimer's disease a decade ago, our goal was to develop better treatment for Alzheimer's patients," explained Professor Rivest. "With the discovery announced today, I think we're close to our objective."

Now that's what science is all about, eh. Keep at it science guys. First we stop Alzheimer's in mice and after that...I can't remember...oh yeah, we humans.

See ya, eh!

Bob

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Ugly Model Agency

Well, g'day to you! Wonderful to see you! Fill your mug and select a tantalizingly delicious virtual treat. Say...ever wonder where Hollywood and TV get those peoplewho are, let's say, less than 'perfect in every way'? Well they use an agency called UGLY MODELS.

Every model agency has strict criteria based on which they select their workforce, and so does the Ugly Models Agency. As the name suggests, of course, you have to be ugly. Well, ‘unusual-looking’, to be more specific. Ugly Models is one of the world’s biggest character model agencies based out of London. The bold and unique company has managed to place its models in some top assignments, including James Bond films and Marks and Spencer ads. Literally anyone can apply at Ugly Models, ranging from size 6 to 30, and 18 to 100 years old.

Case-in-point is Dell, (pictured here), one of the top models at Ugly Models. He got into the modeling business only a few years back, totally by accident. He was actually delivering a package at the agency when owner Marc French spotted him and asked for a few test shots. And everything just snowballed from there.

According to Marc, “Dell is not a conventional good-looking boy, you know, he’s got buck teeth, sticking out ears, he’s not what people say is normal-looking, because he’s quite ugly, really. But ugly in a great way and I love his features. I mean, I think he’s quite striking.”

Sure enough, Dell is not the kind of guy you would expect to see on a catwalk. “I don’t see myself as ugly,” he says. “I see myself as tall, dark and handsome. I’m a model, innit? When I was growing up, I never thought I was going to be a model. People just made fun of me when I was young and all that.”

A porcupine is not ugly to another porcupine, is it, eh? So ugly is a relative thing and only defined as such by society. Oh, sure, there are some doozies out there...as in the jokes:

1. "My girl is so ugly, I have to put a bag over her head whenever we made love".
2. "Oh yeah? Well my girl is so ugly that I put a bag over my head in case hers falls off!"

See ya, eh!

Bob

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Who are the Poo-pertrators!

Well, hey, hey! Thanks for clicking by today. I was talking yesterday about technology, eh. Well as soon as you fill your coffee mug, grab hold of a virtual treat and settle down here, I'll tell you about Canine CSI. Don't think they exist? Neither did I but just listen to this...

When nobody's looking, lazy dog owners have been known to leave their dog's poop on the sidewalk, in a park or on a neighbor's lawn. But one Florida condominium association has a new weapon in the war on dog droppings: DNA analysis. (Yeah...try walking down a street in Thailand and making it to the end of the block without more than once having to detour around a pile of doggy doo (or Doggy bombs as one of our neighbours calls them).

The Vue, a luxury high-rise condo in Orlando, has a rooftop area for pets that's covered in artificial turf. But at least one dog owner was skirting the rules by not cleaning up after their dog, according to ClickOrlando.com. The condo association tried installing security cameras and adding more cleanup crews, but complaints kept piling up.

Exasperated, the group called in PooPrints, a Tennessee-based company that uses DNA analysis to identify the pooch poop perpetrators (Poo-pertrators?). Starting next month, the condo will require that all dog owners to register their pet's DNA — obtained by swabbing the dog's mouth for a saliva sample — with the company's laboratory, according to the Orlando Sentinel. And if dog droppings are found, the DNA will be compared with the samples on file.

Residents who don't clean up after their dog will be fined $100 and repeat offenders could be evicted from the building. The program has been effective at cleaning up other Florida condos where dog owners were leaving a mess behind on lawns, in gardens — even in elevators.

"It was so disgusting," Pauline Gordon, Florida distributor for PooPrints, told the Orlando Sentinel. "As soon as we began with the program, the problems disappeared. Everybody started picking up. They knew they would have to pay the fines and the lab-test fees."

In addition to the gross-out factor, veterinarians warn that dog waste can spread disease to humans. To combat the problem, property owners and dog lovers nationwide have employed professional services from PooPrints to POOP 911, a California-based company that specializes in cleaning up after well-heeled dog lovers who would rather pay someone to do their dirty work for them.

 I know...I know...I'm on about poop again but hey, I'm really talking about using technology here to resolve a problem, aren't I?

See ya, eh!

Bob

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Japan’s “Infidelity Phone”

Hello? Moshi moshi! Can you hear me? This call is not being monitored. How's it going, eh? Pour some java into your mug and feast your eyes on that tray of delectable virtual treats. Y'know, I'm all in favour of advancing technology but occasionally it gets to be too good. Here's a good example...not that it applies to you or I, mind.

These days, the world is going crazy over smartphones, but in Japan, people who engage in extramarital relations remain faithful to a seemingly outdated mobile phone which does a great job of keeping their affairs private. It’s even been nicknamed the “uwaki keitai” or “infidelity phone”.

The Fujitsu ”F-Series” flip-phones are not coolest-looking or most feature-full mobiles you can buy in Japan, but they remain very popular thanks to some very efficient stealth privacy features that help people cheat on their partners without being caught. According to a recent article by the Wall Street Journal, not even the latest smartphones come close to the aging Fujitsu, when it comes to keeping their private business private.

Apparently, the F-Series “private mode” is a layer of invisible security that does a perfect job of hiding incoming calls and messages from contacts marked as private. The only visible signal that lets users know they’ve been contacted by one such contact is a subtle change in the color or shape of the battery or antenna icons. The changes are practically undetectable by the untrained eye, and even if someone might get suspicious, the private mode can only be turned off by a secret combination of keys, to make concealed calls, text messages and voice mail available.

So like, if anyone is having tea and a bit of crumpet on the side, this is the phone to have. I mean it's like giving all your 'bedmates' the same nickname, isn't it? That way, should you ever talk in your sleep...nudge nudge wink wink!

See ya, eh!

Bob

Monday, January 14, 2013

Meet the Guy Who Built a Train in His Basement

Hey! Good to see you today! Keeping well, are you? Help yourself to a mug of java juice and a virtual treat. You've got time. It's not as though you have to catch a train, eh? Now I think having a hobby is a good thing but speaking of trains...

Canadian Jason Schron loves VIA trains so much that he actually spent four and a half years and $10,000 building his own genuine replica of a 1980s VIA train cart, accurate down to the tiniest details, right in the basement of his home, in Vaughan, Ontario.

“The train is where I feel most at home,” Schron says. It’s where I feel most at peace. Especially when it’s hurtling along at 85mph with the snow and rain pelting down outside – it’s the perfect place to be.”

But since he could’t really ask his family to live in a real train, he settled for the next best thing – building his own VIA train cart replica in the basement of their house.  ”I’ve always wanted to have a VIA train in my basement since I was a kid,” the Canadian rail-geek admits, so when it was time for him and his wife to buy a house. he would always say no if the place didn’t have a basement big enough to accommodate his dream replica.

And after they found a suitable space, he dedicated around 2,500 hours over the course of four and a half years to getting every detail of the 1980s VIA cart just right. Making it look authentic was as difficult as you can imagine, and Jason says he had to scrap everything and start over three times, but it was all worth it for the model train company owner.

Now he’s known as the “the guy with the train in his basement” and he even posted a video on YouTube showcasing his impressive replica.

He had to scrap it and start over three times, eh? Maybe VIA Rail ought to take a lesson from Jason. They tried for years to get their Turbo high-speed link operating along the Toronto-Montreal corridor but it was always breaking down and finally scrapped. Then they gave up.

Well, a high-speed train serving Toronto-Montreal is badly needed but the only way VIA is ever going to get it right is to import Japanese know-how and start by completely rebuilding the rail bed. Wouldn't it be great to have a Shinkansen bullet train plying the route in three hours instead of six? You bet but...don't hold your breath!

See ya, eh!

Bob

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Shades of "The Goon Show!"

Hi ya! Wassup? Fill your mug, slide a virtual doughnut onto your plate and tell me about it. Meanwhile, listen to this comedy of mishaps...

Mauricio Fierro gained instant fame in December in Sao Paulo, Brazil, as the reported victim of a car theft (captured on surveillance video) when he dashed into a pharmacy. 

He went to a police station to file a report, but encountered the pharmacy owner making his own report -- that Fierro was actually robbing him at the moment the car was taken. 

More surveillance video revealed that while Fierro was standing outside the pharmacy, wondering where his (stolen) car was, a man ran by and stole the stolen cash. 

Fierro then complained to the police even more about Sao Paulo's crime rate and lack of security. 

Afterward, Fierro admitted to a local news website that in fact he had stolen the very car that he was reporting stolen.

Sounds a little like "Who's on First?".

See ya, eh!

Bob

Saturday, January 12, 2013

In Pain? Rewire Your Brain

Well, good day to you! How're you faring? Memory still good? Must be, eh! You found your way here again today. Now that you're, help yourself to a mug of Joe and a virtual megamuffin. Won't cause you any pain unless you spill your coffee in your lap. That'd do it! Speaking of pain...

Pain comes in many varieties—mental, emotional, physical—the list is practically endless.

One of the most frustrating and debilitating forms of pain is chronic pain.

According to a 2011 report released by the Institute of Medicine of the National Academies, around two thirds of Americans struggle with chronic pain. This figure tops the combined number of people who suffer from cancer, heart disease and diabetes. You could likely apply a similar number to the rest of the world.

Unlike acute pain, which lasts for a few hours or days, chronic pain can go on for months—even years—and may, or may not, have a physical cause. Even when the pain does have a traceable explanation (i.e. a torn ligament, or broken bone), discomfort can still persist, long after the injury has fully healed.

Because it often lacks a visible source, chronic pain can be difficult to treat, and its symptoms are often dismissed as being, “imaginary,” or “all in the head.” Thus, the mind-body pain connection.

Fact - all pain originates in the brain. When you brush up against the side of the oven, the pain center in your brain is triggered, and a series of nervous system responses eventually results in the searing burn on your arm. But, it isn’t your arm that hurts—it’s your brain. You feel the discomfort in your arm because of the connection that was generated between your mind and your body.

Once a mind-body pain link has been created, it never really goes away and can be re-activated.

“Chronic pain is not something you imagine—it’s an activation of a real mental pathway. It’s as if a switch in your brain gets flipped on and the pain is there,” says David Hanscom, M.D., a spinal surgeon and author of, “Back in Control: A Spine Surgeon’s Roadmap Out of Chronic Pain.”

The human brain is adept at adapting, meaning that the longer this switch stays flipped the harder it is to turn off. As time goes by, a nervous system that is constantly barraged by pain signals will become increasingly sensitive and reactive to pain of any kind.

Neuroplasticity is the term used to describe the brain’s ability to acclimate and create new neurological pathways depending on the stimuli it is exposed to.

Whether you’re a musician attempting to learn Poulenc’s Flute Sonata, or a baseball pitcher trying to throw the perfect curve ball, the theory of neuroplasticity states that the more times you practice a skill, the stronger and more insulated the neurological connections having to do with that action will become.

The principal of neuroplasticity applies to chronic pain as well. The more a person dwells on their pain, the deeper and more permanent that pathway becomes. By contrast, breaking out of the cycle of discomfort will eventually cause that path to become decayed and overgrown.

Hanscom offers three essential steps for severing ties with chronic pain:

Safeguard your sleep: “Sleep is the trump card,” says Hanscom. “Not getting enough rest intensifies pain and makes it harder to get rid of.” The stresses and responsibilities of day to day life can make getting the recommended eight hours of shut-eye nearly impossible. But, getting enough sleep is an essential strategy for banishing pain.

Rein in your rage: The line between anxiety and anger is so razor-thin that it’s impossible to control one without first getting a handle on the other. According to Hanscom, the root of most anger lies in anxiety. “Anger is like anxiety on steroids,” he says. “Anxiety causes a need for control and anger is the response that occurs when control isn’t possible.” Learning how to identify and manage your anger and anxiety is essential to maintaining both your physical and mental wellbeing.

Detach from the discomfort: Only after you’ve attended to the first two elements—sleep and anger management—can you begin to work on create some much-needed distance in between you and your pain. Hanscom offers three tools for doing so: writing, active meditation and visualization. These three tools can help you become more aware of your thought processes and how your feelings affect your pain pathways:

    A good writing exercise to start out with is to simply write down what you’re thinking about (or feeling) in a given moment, and then write about the effect that the thought (or feeling) is having on your life. For example, if you’re having an argument with your significant other about whose turn it is to do the dishes, you may be feeling resentful because they don’t often help out around the house. What is this resentment doing to your stress level? What can you do to improve the situation? Asking these questions can serve the dual purpose of diminishing your stress as well as your physical pain.

    Meditation involves focusing your awareness on the present moment—seeing, sensing and feeling the aspects of your immediate environment. This includes any intrusive thoughts that come bubbling to the surface of your consciousness. The key is to watch these thoughts, but refuse to engage with them.

    Visualization is all about imagining a pain-free future for yourself. It’s important to employ all of your senses—don’t just see yourself walking around pain-free, feel it.


Whatever you do, eh...don't answer your iron by mistake as this fellow did!


See ya, eh!


Bob

Friday, January 11, 2013

It's all a Matter of Perspective

Hey there. How're you doing? Hangin' in there? Pour some java into your mug and snag a virtual treat while you're over there. Now here's something for you. There are lots of people out there with strange ideas so this should not be that surprising.

A cosmetics company in Gaza recently began selling a fragrance dedicated to victory over Israel and named after the signature M-75 missile that Hamas has been firing across the border.

"The fragrance is pleasant and attractive," said the company owner, "like the missiles of the Palestinian resistance," and comes in masculine and feminine varieties, at premium prices (over, presumably, the prices of ordinary Gazan fragrances).

Sympathizers can splash on victory, he said, from anywhere in the world. [The Times of Israel, 12-6-2012]

Fragrances of Napalm # 7, eh? Sounds like  decidedly bad taste to me but I guess it depends where your sympathies lie.

See ya, eh.

Bob

Thursday, January 10, 2013

13-Year-Old’s Christmas iPhone Comes with 18-Point Contract from Mom

Hiya! Did Santa bring you an iPhone for Christmas? Nah...me neither? Did you give anybody an iPhone fro Christmas? Nah...me neither. But mosey over to the coffeepot. Pour yourself a mugful and snag a virtual muffin on your way back to the table here, eh. Now...since we're talking iPhones, here's one mum who did it right.

 “Merry Christmas! You are now the proud owner of an iPhone.” Who wouldn’t want to find a message like that next to their Christmas gift, right? Only in the case of 13-year-old Greg Hoffman, from Cape Cod, Massachusetts, this was only the beginning of an elaborate 18-point contract he had to abide by in order to keep using his brand new Apple iPhone.

Greg Hoffman had been begging his parents for an iPhone for a whole year, so when he finally fond it under the Christmas Tree, he was the happiest 13-year-old in the world. Only his joy was short-lived, for with the popular smartphone came a contract put together by his mom, Janell, which conditioned the use of the gadget.

The first of 18 points in the contract made things very clear for Greg. It read: ”It is my phone. I bought it. I pay for it. I am loaning it to you. Aren’t I the greatest?” His first reaction was “Why? Why did she really have to do this?”, but his mother revealed her motives on ABC’s God Morning America: ”What I wanted to do was to show him how you could be a responsible user of technology without abusing it, without becoming addicted”.

Although she ultimately admitted the 18-point “document” was created partly in jest, Janell Hoffman wanted to help her son avoid many of the pitfalls that both smart phone using teens and adults fall prey to, and teen behavior expert Josh Shipp agrees with her. ”You wouldn’t’ give your kid a car without making sure they had insurance,” he says. ”And so giving them a cell phone or a computer without teaching them how to use it responsibly is irresponsible on the part of the parent.”

Act responsibly and eat responsibly, too so help yourself to another virtual no-fat muffin, why don't'cha? Put the iPhone down first though or the chocolate'll get all over the durn thing.

See ya, eh!

Bob

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Bilingualism May Keep Older Brains Nimble

Buenas dias! Come sta usted? Muay buen? Coffee, kafi, cafe, kofi is a universal language, I'm working on getting 'virtual treat' accepted worldwide as well. While you're over at the coffeepot, I have a question for you. How many other languages to you speak? The more the merrier according to recent studies.

Older adults who have spoken two languages since childhood are quicker at switching between cognitive tasks than single-language adults, a new study finds. The bilingual seniors also showed distinct patterns of brain activity not seen in monolingual participants, the researchers added.

The findings inThe Journal of Neuroscience suggest that certain mental activities benefit individuals as they age.

"This study provides some of the first evidence of an association between a particular cognitively stimulating activity, in this case, speaking multiple languages on a daily basis, and brain function," John Woodard, a researcher on aging from Wayne State University, who was not involved with the study, said in a statement.

Recent research has suggested speaking two languages could keep one's cognitive flexibility, or the ability to adapt to new, often unfamiliar, situations, from declining, something thought to happen with age.

To test the idea in an aging population, Brian Gold and his colleagues at the University of Kentucky College of Medicine scanned the brains of 30 healthy bilingual and monolingual adults ages 60 to 68. They used functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI), which shows blood flow to brain regions in real time. An increase in blood flow to a specific brain region signals that region is likely becoming more active.

While their brains were being scanned, participants completed a task to measure their cognitive flexibility called a color-shape task-switching game. The participants were shown one of two possible shapes (square or circle) in one of two colors (red or blue) at the center of a screen. In some instances participants had to name the color of the flashed image, in others the shape, and in others the task switched back and forth from participants needing to indicate color to shape.

Both groups performed the task accurately, though bilingual individuals were faster than monolinguals. Even so, the brain scans suggested bilingual participants expended less energy in the brain's frontal cortex thought to be involved in such task switching, the researchers said.

"This suggests that bilingual seniors use their brains more efficiently than monolingual seniors," Gold said in a statement.

To find out when this cognitive benefit from bilingualism kicked in, the researchers ran the same experiment on younger participants with an average age of 31. As expected, younger adults were faster than older ones at completing the task. However, bilingual younger adults did no better than monolingual individuals on the task.

"Together, these results suggest that lifelong bilingualism may exert its strongest benefits on the functioning of frontal brain regions in aging."

In fact, another study showed the brains of bilingual adults functioned better and for longer after individuals developed Alzheimer's disease; the bilinguals were also diagnosed with the disease about four years later, on average, than those who spoke just one language.

So there. No matter if you speak one language or several. If the studies are correct, and I suspect they are, learning a new language will help the old gray matter. I am not nearly as adept at picking up languages as my dad was. Growing up in Quebec, I took French in school from grade 3 but you know what...by grade 11 I was still far from able to carry on a conversation. A few years after graduation the system was changed to include Immersion French and that proved to work a whole lot better. Having to work in another language has to be a better way to learn it. What French I did learn is still mostly there but a tad rusty around the edges and right down the middle. Thai is a whole matter unto itself. I don't think I do badly though I'm far from fluent.

I have always been interested n languages and am in constant beginner stages with Japanese, Spanish and Mandarin. A friend of mine in Bangkok speaks 13 eastern and western languages fluently and has a good working knowledge of another 23...well that was about five years ago so he's probably added several more by now! He teaches Thai and Indonesian...and is a jazz pianist. Is his brain working overtime or what, eh!

Whether I ever learn much more Japanese, Spanish or Mandarin is debatable but other languages show you that there is more than one right way to communicate and to me it is fascinating to be able to figure out words and sentences in another languages...probably because I have always been a huge puzzle fan.

See you, eh!

Bob

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Hello...hello...anybody there?

Hi ya! How's life treating you today, eh? Help yourself to a mugga and a virtual treat. Say...you know I like to rag the governments of the world from time to time, huh. Well now I think this is was probably a good idea but there appears to have been something amiss in the implementation...like communication, training...

One of the principal recommendations following the Sept. 11 attacks was that emergency and rescue personnel have one secure radio frequency on which all agencies that were merged into the Department of Homeland Security could communicate. 


In November, the department's inspector general revealed that, despite $430 million allotted to build and operate the frequency in the last nine years, it remains almost useless to DHS' 123,000 employees. 

The report surveyed 479 workers, but found only one who knew how to find the frequency, and 72 percent did not even know one existed (and half the department's radios couldn't have accessed it even if employees knew where to look).

Nice follow through, guys! I suppose in some quarters 430 million is a drop in the bucket - even though it is more than the GNP of quite a few countries in the world. Tell you what...now that I've retired, I've got time on my hands. How about hiring me as an international communications consultant? I'll put on seminars in every major US city for the HS personnel and anyone else who needs training in finding a specific radio frequency. I'm prepared to do it for a mere $2 million a year after taxes. I expect it to take me three to four years to cover all the airports, border crossing points, HQ, regional HQs, and all the other agencies tied into HS. I may take me a little longer to cover Hawaii, Puerto Rico and the Marianas Islands but, hey...what's the hurry. Did I mention benefits? Condo in Honolulu? First class travel and a dark blue stretch Lincoln Town car with an espresso machine in the back for my airport transfers? Mere details. Set it up and I'll be ready to go Monday.

See ya, eh!

Bob

Monday, January 7, 2013

Another 'How to become a Millionaire' Story

Ni Hao! Ni hao mah? (Mandarin for how the heck are you, eh?). Once you fill that empty mug you're holding and choose a low fat virtual treat, c'mon over here and I'll tell you another rags to riches story, eh...

Yu Youzhen, a millionaire from Wuhan City, China, has been making headlines recently, after it was discovered she works as a street cleaner, for a 1,420 yuan monthly salary, in order to set a positive example for her two children.

During the 1980s, Yu Youzhen was just an average vegetable farmer in the Hongshan District Donghu Village Huojiawan, working hard with her husband in order to save some money. After years working from dawn till dusk, they became the first family in the village to own a 3-storey house.

At the time, a lot of people were coming to Wuhan looking for work, and many of them needed a place to stay, so Yu started renting the spare rooms in her home. Each room would bring about 50 yuan every month, and the resourceful woman used the extra earning to build even more houses and add more floors. After several years, she had three 5-storey buildings, most of which were rented out.

Construction regulations were loose in China, and everyone was building houses, but Yu Youzhen really lucked-out when, according to the policies of requisitioning and redevelopment of land, she and her family were compensated with 21 apartments for the houses they had built in Huojiawan. She wasn’t the only one, of course, but she personally witnessed how fellow villagers squandered away their fortunes on gambling, drinking and even drug use, so she made it a goal to set a good example for her kids and act responsible.

All I can say is...if YU can do it, so can YOU!

See ya, eh!

Bob

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Extraterrestrials Coming to Thailand!

Well, g'day to you. I hope it's a good one. Today is my birthday so I may have to force down a piece of birthday cake. Never mind how old I am but the numbers add up to 8. That's all I'm going to say about it! Now where was I. Oh yeah! Extraterrestrials have been seen in Thailand! I say extraterrestrials because all foreigners in the country are considered aliens so there are already thousands there. The first UFO was seen on Christmas Day in Sakon Nakorn. Help yourself to a mug of coffee and a virtual treat while I fill you in...in case you missed it, I mean, eh.

The Thai online community is buzzing about an alleged photo of a UFO that was taken by an eighth grade student on Christmas Day in the northern community of Sakon Nakorn.

As you can see above, the photo is convincing and anyone who says otherwise is a joyless cynic.

On Dec 25, Sawang Dindaeng School in Sakon Nakhon organized a variety of outdoor activities to celebrate its “Sports Day.” One of the participants, Thidarat Boonlee, enjoyed the proceedings so thoroughly that she felt like she had to take a photo to commemorate the occasion.

At 2PM, Thidarat pulled out her mobile phone and took a snapshot of her friends, who were seated on the grandstand opposite. In addition to her friends, the high schooler found that she had snapped a photo of a flying saucer.

Incredulous about her find, Thidarat attempted to take a second photo of the coconut tree behind which the UFO had appeared, but the saucer failed to make a second appearance.

Weerayos Yuttarin, an English teacher at the school, told Mthai that Thidarat was a well-behaved student who was unlikely to fabricate the story.

“I heard many teachers talking about their UFO experience on the same day but I did not believe since there was no concrete evidence,” said Weerayos.

Weerayos added that behind the row of coconut trees were townhouses that should not have a height of more than three stories.

No word yet from the Catholic Church regarding the theological implications of a UFO sighting on Christmas Day, but let's think about it for a minute, eh... could there have been an alien abduction 2000 years ago? Anything's possible, right? Halleluleh! Take me to your leader. Of course if they land in Thailand with all the beautiful women it might be more like "Take me to your condo. I'll see your leader later!"

See ya, eh!

Bob

Saturday, January 5, 2013

Datta Phuge's Solid Gold Shirt

Hi there! How's tricks? Make your way over to the coffeepot, splash some Arabica into your mug and snag a virtual doughnut or muffin on your way over to the table here, all right? Yeah! Golden! Did I say golden? I did, didn't I. That's become an expression meaning "Great!", "Fantastic!" as in, "It's golden!" akin to the British "Brilliant!". Well listen to this...

Datta Phuge, a chit fund businessman from Pimpri, India, refers to himself as “The Gold Man of Pimpri” and in order to live up to this image, he has recently commissioned a 22-karat gold shirt weighing 3.2 kilograms that’s bound to make some Western rappers green with envy.

According to India Today, gold-obsessed businessmen and politicians are nothing new in India. Not long ago, a man by the name of Ramesh Wanjale was spotted wearing 2 kilos of gold, then NCP functionary Samrat Moze wore 8.5 kilograms of gold in the form of jewelry and ornaments, but chit fund Datta Phuge found a way to one-up them both. He had a team of 15 goldsmiths working 18 hours a day for over 15 days in order to finish a 3.5 kg woven gold shirt.”

The gold shirt has been one of my dreams,” Mr Phuge told Indian newspaper the Pune Mirror“It will be an embellishment to my reputation as the ‘Gold man of Pimpri’”, Phuge said. His extravagant garment consists of 14,000 gold flowerrings, interwoven with one lakh spangles. It was assembled on a fabric base of imported white velvet, and comes with six Swarovski crystal buttons and an intricate belt, also made of gold.

Okay, okay, but I've got a couple of questions, eh. Like...how do you wash it...other than very carefully? Also...how many bodyguards does he have when he goes outside? You don't think there's anyone in India who might covet said shirt? 3.5 kg of gold would set up a whole village for many years, I'd think! He's got a few other baubles around his neck and arms, too.

See ya, eh!

Bob

Friday, January 4, 2013

Don't Look Up!

Hi there! Flying high today? Got to stop putting those funny mushrooms in your oatmeal! Help yourself to a mug of Arabica and a virtual treat, why don't'cha? Say...have you ever been to Trafalgar Square in London; Piazza San Marco in Venice or anywhere else where pigeons and tourists gather in equal numbers? Pigeons can be messy. Remember the pigeon lady in Home Alone 2 (set in New York)? But then again, those plentiful birds have served mankind for ages.

For centuries, probably millennia, homing pigeons have been the most reliable forms of communication. They were used by the Roman Army, Genghis Khan, and Napoleon. They were also responsible for relaying secret messages during WW1 and WW2 that could not be sent via radio. The Indian police force was still using carrier pigeons as late as 2002. 

Notwithstanding its nuclear submarines, ballistic missiles and spy satellites, France still maintains Europe's last "squadron" of military carrier pigeons. Legislator Jean-Pierre Decool lauds the pigeons and campaigns for their upgrade, warning that in the event of war or other catastrophe, the birds would be a valuable messaging network. (Pigeons have been used at times in the current Syrian civil war.) Until very recently, according to a November Wall Street Journal dispatch, pigeons wearing harnesses had been used by a hospital in Normandy to ferry blood samples to a testing lab (a 25-minute flight).

In classrooms, cell phones and text messages recently replaced carrier pigeons to ferry illicit messages among students during exams. Thank goodness, eh! The flutter of wings made it difficult for teachers to teach lessons and proctor tests. It also made it difficult to tell whether an answer was really b) or if the blackened in circle was just pigeon poop!

See ya, eh!

Bob 

PS: There is a rumour that both Iran and North Korea are looking at the possibility of breeding nuclear pigeons!